Stress level

Currently listening to: Nothing

There are a lot of things which I do not regret doing or not doing. And there are some things which, unfortunately, I regret doing or not doing. Then, there are things which I regret not being able to do even though I wanted to, or regret doing even though I didn't want to. And finally, there are the things which I do not know whether or not I regret doing or not doing. It is complicated, and I don't really know why it has to be like that. I just know that, whatever it was that I ended up doing, I did it in an attempt to protect myself. And you know what?

I don't know if, in the end, I actually protected or hurt myself more.

Happy birthday darling.

Nothing's the matter

Currently listening to: 情人的眼淚 from 不能說的.秘密

I just have to keep telling myself that it doesn't matter. That it shouldn't matter. That I shouldn't let it matter. Because the most important thing is that I think it's worth it. And I really do think so. So yeah. That is all that should matter.

A conspiracy!

Currently listening to: Nothing

Lightbulbs hate me. It's true. Remember the last time? Well, it has happened again. In the span of less than 24 hours no less. It's crazy, I tell you. I mean, I only just changed one yesterday afternoon, and this morning, I found out that I have to change another one. I don't have a problem living in semi-darkness; I've done it before. It's just annoying, because I had to go the supermarket and buy one yesterday, and now I have to go back and buy another one. It's also funny how I didn't put off changing the first one, because if I did, I would be living in total darkness right now. Well, not really, since it's still day time at the moment and I probably would've gotten the new lightbulbs before dark.

Snowdrop

Currently listening to: You Look Good Jack from Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

I watched Evan Almighty the other night, and Stardust yesterday evening. I thought Evan Almighty was only so-so. It has its funny moments, but not much if I may say so. And that's about it really. Stardust, on the other hand, gets a nice little thumbs-up from me. It could be because I like fairytales, to begin with. And Stardust is a fairytale-like movie. And, it's always nice to watch fairytales come to life on the big screen, what with all the special effects and all. It's like watching your imaginations come to life, and I like the feeling of it.

Anyway, I've come to realise that, whenever I am faced with a certain problem, I'll always think that I need some changes in my life. You'd think that I'd start with something big, such as changing my hairstyle, or my wardrobe, or even my personality. But no. I start off by changing all of my passwords. All of them. And after that, I will change the look of my blog. Which would explain this new look. I hope you like it. I know I do. It took me 5 freaking hours, and I didn't even have to write anything from scratch.

Foliage

Currently listening to: Alfie by Lily Allen

As much as I would like to think otherwise, things have changed. I can't exactly place a finger on it, but I can feel it. Call it my girly intuition if you like, but I've learnt the hard way that it is a force to be reckoned with. At least, I believe mine is. So yeah. This time around, I am going to stand by it and say this with as much confidence as I can possibly muster.

Things have changed. Full stop.

Promise

Currently listening to: 湘倫小雨四手聯彈 from 不能說的.秘密

I don't like the weather forecast for the upcoming week. I really, REALLY hope that it is the perfect weather on both Friday and Saturday. If I cannot be greedy, then I'll just want perfect weather on Friday. Please, give us perfect weather on Friday... I'll promise to stop being so lazy. I'll promise to TRY to do away with my bad, old habits. I'll promise to eat more healthily, even if it means eating raw food. Just please, give me the most perfect weather on Friday.

Anyway...

"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within." - James Baldwin

And...

"There is never enough I Love You's." - Lenny Bruce

Both quotes were taken from Facebook. Yes I have a Facebook account. Nowadays, it has become THE thing to check whenever I go on the Internet, besides my email, Asian entertainment news updates, blog updates, and manga updates. Oh, and course updates as well.

I want!

Currently listening to: Just To Be Close To You by Backstreet Boys

There are so many things that I would like to do but have yet to do, simply because I am waiting for the right moment OR the right person. Some of these things I have never done before, and I sometimes wonder if I will ever get to do it at all, at the rate that I am going. It's quite frustrating, really, but then again, what could I have done to speed things up? Nothing. So yeah. I guess I'll just hold on to my unrealistic beliefs/imaginations/fantasies/dreams for the time being...

啦啦啦啦啦。。。

Currently listening to: I'll Never See Him Again from Pocahontas

I don't even want to think about it... Sigh...

思檸。。。你要争气一点。。。加油！

Karma [Part 2]

Currently listening to: 早操 from 不能說的.秘密

...to another thing altogether, which is the main point of my previous entry. It is this: I don't care if you are reading my blog. I have nothing to be ashamed of. At least, if I can write it on my blog, I'm not ashamed of it.

So yeah. I admit that I adore the boy. Very much so in fact. He reminds me of the kind of little brother that I never had. He reminds me of the kind of brother that I never had. Yes I meant for the previous two statements to differ by a single word.

I also admit that I sometimes get rather protective of him, and that I sometimes "attack" other people in my bid to "protect" him. I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to the people whom I have inadvertently "attacked". I really didn't do it on purpose. Most of the time, I am unaware of it myself. I'm sorry...

Anyway, I was actually going to write more, but after giving it some thought, I decided that I didn't feel too comfortable about it. Which is why I'm going to stop here. For now.

Karma [Part 1]

Currently listening to: Singapore from Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End

It took me a little while to come to that conclusion, but it is a conclusion that I am willing to accept, so yeah, I guess the matter is now officially closed. My only regret is that things didn't happen the way that I would've wanted it to, but it's alright. I understand and accept everything, including the fact that I must not do unto others what I do not want others to do unto me.

Anyway, I truly, truly wonder sometimes about the people who read my blog. I wonder, because more often than not, I write about people I know, both from the past and the present. I usually don't mention names, and it's fine when I'm talking about people from the past, because it's harder to distinguish who they are. But when I talk about people from the present... well, it's actually pretty easy to tell, especially when I go into the details, not about the people themselves, but about other things like what they've done or where they've gone and all.

It's not that I mind, really. I mean, if I didn't want anybody to know about it, I wouldn't even be writing about it on my blog in the first place. I'd be writing about it somewhere else, or I'd be writing about it in such a way that nobody but myself can understand what I'm actually talking about. So yeah. I guess I'm pretty much prepared for it.

It's just that, I've come to realise that I would actually prefer not to know about it. Know that they read my blog, that is. Take for example an incident which had happened about a couple of weeks ago. A few friends had come over to my place to watch a movie, and I had my blog page opened on the browser on my laptop; I had just written an entry about an adventure which we had all underwent together some nights before.

Anyway, one of them had sat down in front of my laptop, and by the time I realised what was going on, he had already read half of that particular entry. It could be reflex, or it could be something else, but in a flash, I had walked over and pushed the lid of the laptop down. Needless to say, he protested. And my response? I told him to read it some other time some place else, but not in front of me. Because to me, it's one thing knowing that you read my blog, and another thing altogether seeing you read my blog in front of me.

So there you go. Another little something about myself for you to know before I move on...

不能說的秘密

Currently listening to: Nothing

Now that I think about it, I don't really know why I cried. It started off with just having tears in my eyes, and it came and went a couple of times. And then, the tears just kept coming, and my nose started to get runny, and the next thing I know, I was crying into the tissue paper. It felt good though. It's almost like the cry washed away everything. All the sorrows and anger and what not. So yeah. It was a good cry.

Anyway, I just finished watching Secret, which starred Jay Chou and this not-drop-dead-gorgeous-but-kinda-cute-looking girl called Kwai Lun-mei. And, it's not a bad movie actually. I kinda spoiled it a bit for myself when I looked up the plot on the Internet, but I enjoyed watching it nevertheless. So, if you are a Jay Chou fan, watch it. If you are a music fan, watch it. If you are neither but have time on your hands, watch it.

They really should pay me for promoting the movie. Somebody give Jay Chou a call or something.

A good cry

Currently listening to: Nothing

It has been a while since I have been this close to tears. No wait. Actually, yes. It HAS been a while since I have been this close to tears. I guess, as the years rolled by, I have become more and more independent, and that meant not bursting into tears so easily anymore. Not that I used to, but yeah.

Anyway, to have me writing this entry while my eyes are brimming with tears... no scratch that... while I'm crying...

I don't really know what to say anymore...

My poor legs

Currently listening to: Nothing

I really should be sleeping, but I'm crazy, so yeah.

Anyway, I hate it when I see bruises on my legs. It's a sore sight to the eyes. But I'm so prone to them because I keep knocking into things when I walk. It's like I'm this big, clumsy being, and it's annoying.

I can't believe I stayed awake just so that I can write about how much I dislike having bruises on my legs...

OMSA Committee of 2007

Currently listening to: Nothing

This video took 3 takes to film, approximately 1 hour to edit, and only about 2 minutes to watch. It was brain-damaging at first, trying to figure out how to get it looking like this, but once I got the hang of it, everything else was a breeze, and when I finally watched the end product in its whole entirety, I was smiling with contentment.

Because it was one person's idea and a group of people's efforts all rolled into one. And I just want to say that I HEART you guys so much.

Fret

Currently listening to: Nothing

Sometimes, I truly wonder if it is so. A bit of a hassle really, and not at all good for me, but I still do. I guess I just can't help myself. Sigh...

Now, I can only hope that I know my own limits.

MM07

Currently listening to: Nothing

Now it's an average of 11 visits a day, and some of them looks kind of suspicious, because they were referred to my blog from who-knows-where.

Anyway, Malam Malaysia is now over and done with. I cannot say that I am not happy, and yet I cannot say that I am happy. It is hard to explain, and I am too lazy to try. I would just like to applaud the people who had worked so hard to make it happen. You know who you are and what you did, so I won't elaborate any further.

Because again, I am just too lazy.

Nyanyanya

Currently listening to: Nothing

I am still wondering what prompted the average of 8 visits a day to my blog for the past couple of days. Truly intriguing...

Anyway, I am beginning to worry about Malam Malaysia 2007. We are so under-prepared, it is not funny. At all. It's the timing, I tell you, that will be our ultimate downfall. That is, should we fall. I know for a fact that it will break everyone's heart, especially the scriptwriters, if things didn't work out in the end. And I really don't want that to happen.

Anyway (again)...

Last weekend, my dear friends and I went to Christchurch again. I said again because a couple of months ago, we were there for BERSATU Games. This time around, we were there purely for fun. Not that we didn't have fun the last time, but this time we were more relaxed. We made sure that we did what everyone wanted to do, ate what everyone wanted to eat, drink what everyone wanted to drink...

I had a little too much to drink, though, and ended up with a massive hangover for the whole of the next day, so much so that I didn't enjoy myself as much as I would've liked to. It really was my own fault, so I guess you could say that I had it coming.

Then, on our way back to Dunedin, I was careless enough to ignore the speed limit and went over by more than 30kmh that I got pulled over by the police and was fined a hefty NZD300 on the spot. And THAT was the real reason why I decided to scrape the birthday party that I was planning to have next month. Once again, it really was my own fault, so yeah you could say that I had it coming. Again.

Now, I had better get back to work on Malam Malaysia 2007, because I KNOW that it is going to be a very long day on Saturday, and if I'm not careful enough, tomorrow as well.

Quote unquote

Currently listening to: Nothing

I was surprised to find out that I had an average of 8 people visiting my blog for the past couple days. I wonder what was the occasion...

Anyway, I am currently hard at work for Malam Malaysia 2007. Well, not really REALLY hard at work, but yeah. We had our first rehearsal yesterday, and apparently I missed out on a very "exciting" and "interesting" moment while I was entertaining myself up in the control room. I am kinda glad that I missed it, because even from where I was I could tell that things weren't going particularly well down below. I just didn't know how bad it was, until I was summoned by my boss (I still don't know why he did that). Imagine how bewildered I was when I heard him asking everyone (including myself) to "chill". I remember thinking to myself, "Um, I was chilling up in the control room until you beckoned me to come down."

Anyway, in that short period of time where I became a not-very-willing participant of the somewhat-cooled-but-still-heated discussion, I was appalled to hear some of the things which were said by some of my colleagues. I would've jumped right into the middle of things, had I not been so slow and lost out to others who jumped in right before me. Seriously, I was VERY disgusted. It definitely didn't help that the appalling and disgusting questions/statements were directed at a very dear friend.

Anyway, everything seems to be fine now, but I was telling another dear friend yesterday that if they should dare to do that again, I will curse them in their face and walk away from the job. But not before mentioning how I sacrificed my time and money (I took the week off work just so that I can be at the rehearsals full-time) and in the process dashing my plans of having a birthday party in about a month's time from now due to lack of money. Although to be honest, my broken plans of having a birthday party had nothing to do with lack of money due to taking a week off work. But they don't have to know that.

Moving on altogether...

觉得自己真的好贱。说好了不会再让自己想那么多，可是到最后还是去想。 不知道为什么每一次都是这样。咳。。。

不得不承认，我真的好疼她。只要看到他不高兴的样子，只要看见他搜到委屈，我的心就好痛。。。

Enough already!

Currently listening to: Nothing

Unfortunately, I am not exactly in the best of mood at the moment. I don't really know why. Perhaps, it has something to do with the massive hangover that took over me the whole of yesterday. Or perhaps, it has something to do with the freaking 300-dollar fine I got for speeding. Or perhaps, it has something to do with the fact that I am starting to think too much. Again.

Dang it all. I am officially in a bad mood.